Will Someone Get Me Another Pepsi?

Musings on music delivered when I dig myself out.

Will Someone Get Me Another Pepsi?

Or Janet Jackson's new single, "Just a Little While"

Janet, oh Janet, you and your $3 trillion dollar crack team of lawyers and hype-mongers are so clever. No one is going to ever correlate your teat-bearing with trying to drum up publicity for a new album, are they? Nahh. Regardless whether you view her boob show and tell as a stunt or scandal, it's hard to deny that this ought to help out Janet's otherwise sagging (groan) career.

Looking to revitalize her sound, Jackson's new single rips a page from the recent work of Liz Phair, Avril Lavigne and P!nk (damn, that's dumb) and utilizes the Matrix songwriting book. Except... with the cheese factor turned up to eleven. It's such commercial pop that it's actually circled around the spectrum and become an ad for Pepsi. It's all rock and roll! Janet can rock too -- look, there's a guitar line! See! The best part of the song, obviously, is the guitar's "so-simple-my-cat's-furball-could-play-it" chord progression playing relentlessly behind Janet's perfect-pitched "ooh ooh ooh ooh!" The wanking solo at the end is so DAMN awful that it's obviously played by someone that invariably looks like the guitarist of Creed. God + Pepsi + The Matrix = winning single, at least in Janet's breast-I mean brain.

Published Thursday, February 05, 2004 | 0 comments | E-mail this post